Everything

Everything

How can I be proud 

if I am ashamed?

If love is a secret,

I’m keeping it so.

How can I have faith

if I am a sinner?

If love is a regret,

I am doomed to rue.

Still, the time goes on

and I live partially:

keeping one eye open,

sleeping one eye closed.

Noon until the night,

love hides from the bright.

Moon until dawn’s light,

love blooms out of sight.

How am I so vacant,

timid and self-betraying?

If love is everything,

I’ve everything to give.

Why am I so distant,

fickle and self-decaying?

Now I’ve given everything,

I’ll wait forever to receive.

Life

Life

Why can’t you just be happy?

You could fall to domestica,

have love and the small things.

‘Twould be a dream realized. 

Instead, the fires lit in you

destroy, destruct and damage you. 

Living is a simple joy,

but life is Hell, a curse, a void.

Sleeping comes so peacefully

but living - you will cease to be.

I write to say, regretfully,

in living - you have ceased to me.

A New Smile

A New Smile

I saw myself today

I was in one of those houses that echos

With a grand hall and piano

I was opening a drawer and laughing

My lover stood to my right

My son played at my feet

And I saw a new smile on my face

I tried that smile on today

But it just did not fit

And while I suffered in the grey

Breathing in darkness

I remembered that one day

I’d find my way to the light

In the house that echos

I know one day I’ll open the drawer

And I’ll smile that new smile

With my lover to my right

And my son at my feet

So I'll cease filling the void

And breathe in today’s darkness

I'll be playing the piano

Oh, I’ll play the night away

When I live in the house that echoes