The Byway Collection

03/10/13

This is a collection of poetry I wrote in 2011. I felt was in its own group due to the cohesion of its conception, themes, construction and progression. Twenty of the poems here were written in one day (August 10th), the last was written just six days later.


1. Intro

Am I the priest or the cowboy?

The mechanic or the schoolboy?

Am I the righteous optimist?

Or the earthy sensualist?

Am I the strong Casanova,

with virile mountains to climb over?

Am I pensive, or the rebel?

The earthquake or minor tremble?

Am I the servant or the Charming?

Ebony knight or wealthy king?

Am I the bookworm with glasses,

reading love as time passes?

Am I the fickle perfectionist?

The athlete or the genius?

Am I in the hopeless princess form,

waiting, dormant, bored, for norm?

Am I fit enough for porno,

golden hair and bronzed torso?

Does my faker’s smile shine brightly,

showing afflictions only slightly?

No.

I am the tired suburban type,

sleeping through the queerish hype.

I feign indifference to life and love,

meanwhile fear flows through my blood.


2. Sticky

My mind is sticky, nostalgically. 
Each memory constructs feelings. 
I feel the past loves, 
latter ones in fantasies present.

Inside thought’s core, deep rapture is what I find. 

Like knowing the flesh I’m without,
like my skin, it is but temporary.

3. Daddy

It is nighttime.
A silver light blinks above, inconsistently radiant.

There is a silhouette before me.

His vague outline appears, fades, reappears, then fades.

One twisted hand reaches out, and it is received.

There is an unfamiliar quietness, so it is released.

He comes closer; his pores open to receive.

He is a father to Cowardice.

And there is nothing there for me anymore.

The silhouette forever remains.

4. Bus Boy

You and your dusty eyes,

from every angle, I stay the same.

In every way, you never change;

chic veneer, closed mouth.

Our time cuts and jumps

before we can even speak.

Errors loom in our silence;

we face our quiet doom.

Love could have opened,

spread its petals to light.

Instead we felt the falling,

but didn’t muster the courage.

Why does sweet nothing 

feel…so…sweet?

It scratches at the heart,

our words unexpressed.

Perfect glitch in the system,

to show us how not to.

We’re left with scarred souls,

though everything has lifted up.

You are not forgotten,

and are taken until death,

where I will live by you.

5. Post

His necklace weighs across my heart,

the product of his fibre.

His pieces are have broken apart

into smooth, white solution.

He nestles into my shoulder,

nursed by my warmth,

naps in his depleted state,

I serve to restore him.

Limply looking into me,

with his chasteness and guilt,

“Take all that I let escape,

It was all…all for you”

6. In The Eye

There is a silence 

In front of my eyes

The world carries on

Without noise

There is nostalgia

of the future

It will come soon

A sparkle in the eye of him

It captures me

Sweet deadly glimpses

Digging in my flesh

His claws remain  

7. Tsunami

I live by time’s tide, 

one fluid boat ride.

Knee-deep in fathoms of men,

wading against the current.

Every bone is a branch,

each body a mountain.

I ascend steep contours

of his sensuous skin.

Up to his hip, I climb,

onto the solar plexus.

I tuck into the navel,

becoming vital nexus.

Inside the lonely grotto,

I’m pulled beneath by light.

I tread oceanic blood

of a homogeneous might.

His universal eruption;

it’s all in my hands.

The black hole rips open,

a tsunami floods the land.

8. Fluidity

I have a place

And there is a stone

But it has not been set

I’m fluid as a river

Fluid as an ocean

Ebbing and flowing

Repeatedly

There is a time

And there is a place

But they may never meet

There are the dreams

And there is the love

But, they may not come

9. Distorted Stories

Distorted stories 

Told by the wind

Cut to a scene

It’s only me

Consumed by a lullaby 

Teeth dripping blood

Engorging my skin

The pen pricks me

Releases pain into a jar

Particles of inspiration take to the sky

One at a time 

One perfect shine

The vent has opened

I can see through

Another realm waiting

I’m forced to watch

The temperature drops

There’s a grim release

Love breathes on me

Re-sparks my neglected mind

One soul to another

10. The Recalling

I’ve known you,

swam you like an ocean.

I freeze into your eyes

the frost of winters past.

You have been with me,

your fingers hook in the 

familiar desperation.

I feel, I feel.

And my toes click one by one

to the velocity of the snowfall.

The dew lubricates all

the junctions of you and I.

11. He Is There

I wade the river

Until I sink into the mud

Slip into the new dimension

Where I can love freely

Without this dreaded search

That has yielded nothing

For so long, I’ve not found him

But he is there

Within the light

In his chaste perfection

The beautiful illusion

We wander alongside shadows 
until we so become

Merging happily

And his hands find me

And they caress deeply

Down to the roots

And he kisses me

With eyes watching

In an indifference so kind

I hold him there forever

Our flesh settling down

Hearts resume their normal speed

The distortion of the heart takes over

Timed again until…

12. Enter The Symphony

The skies crack open

Unveiling some heaven

It shines upon me

It shines upon me

I open the door

Nervous still

Enter the symphony

Enter the symphony

There it is

Before my eyes:

Everything

13. River Water

The water running clear,

sluicing by my hands.

I let it drip to the ground,

saturating Earth’s lands.

From you to me,

the drops create a stream.

The rivulet we share

is all within my dream…

The torrent explodes!

A horrific tsunami suffocates me.

So, I drown.

But, what about you?

Well, you’re hurt by the sight,

but you carry on.

And I never get to love; 

you feel my loss.

Still, you get to love in the end…

Love had me drowned from birth.

I was drenched in it,

held prisoner in a cocoon,

denied the access of another; of you.

And it wasn’t even my fault.

So, I sink in the river.

I sink to the bottom.

I sink in the ocean,

To the bottom of my life.

14. Accepted

The chorus of heaven

has been paid for.

I cannot believe

they’ve sung to me.

My toes tap the floor

Drawing a fish’s path

Too content a silence

I sigh it away

Dismissive

Nothing is felt

Nothing again

Accepted

But it’s full…apparently

I just don’t get…supposedly

I’ve disconnected…evidently

I’m locked out…seemingly

You’ll be my lone angel

15. That Love Song

I take salvage

In the unphysical

The sounds, the noise

It holds me near

The chime of her song

It gives birth to me

It is the edge of a cliff

The top of a mountain

An endless field

Her vast landscapes

pull me under the world

The winds fight me

The waters swallow me

In love I drown

And then it hits

I shatter into nothingness

I’m all for nothing

A simple light now

Glowing in the memory

She’ll never know of me

She’ll never know

And she carries on

With my death on repeat

And love

16. Caught A Pig Instilling Tall Ants (Like I Should Manage...)

There isn’t anything 

left in the world.

There’s nothing left.

It’s all for war.

A dead fish washes up

Onto a barren shore

All the years passing

Without just, without red.

Although you have gone

I wander the lands.

I search for nothing

There is nothing left.

Political systems

Beautiful pandemics

Nourishing parasites

CAPITALISM

We’re caught in the trap

17. Sin

Drinking from the virile river

All I could conquer...

I hear the stampedes

They’re no match for me

My blood, thunderous 

Conducts the monsoon

Golden flames glow

Grow like the sun

The path is cleared

My handsome ruination

Calls me to the river

I deflect the guilt sometimes

My blood guiltiness is upon me

My blood be guiltiness upon me
Your blood guiltiness upon me

Your blood guiltiness upon me 

18. Nothing

This anchorage

It’s nothing

There’s no use for it

It is just sluggishness I cannot shake

19. Feast

He is the hunter

The sole gatherer

As the stars come out

Fodder is retrieved

He’s the darkest knight

The thought stirs his blood

He splits the rations

And he serves them raw

I will wear his strings

I will wear the stains

I will drink his drops

I will drink the rain

He hands himself over

Till all is restored

His carbons dissolve

Deeper than my pores

I will wear his pearls

I will swim his streams

I will sleep in webs

I will wear his dreams

20. Flesh And Blood

He would have had her

If it weren’t for me

It was my face

And it was my heart

He turned to

My flesh is hung

And my blood is strung

Chains of red and white

Over his shoulders

He would have had her

If not for my charm

Once a patriot

He loved

Letting me into him

My flesh is hung

And my blood is strung

Chains of red and white

My flesh and blood

He loved letting me in

21. Dance

They dance

My heart and the clock

The tick is leading

My beat’s receiving

The sun shines still

I rise and I set

My life is an orbit

Cut short by the grim

The coming of age

Rusting my spine

I drag myself on

As the end draws in

And the light appears

I’ve always known it

Flashing and burning

Dissipating in time

It just wasn’t mine

My ticking heart knows no better

Then the light explodes

And I don’t know it

Flashing and burning

Dissipating my time

And it is all mine

Poetry from 2011 (Part 2)

Here is some poetry I wrote from July – December 2011. The themes here range from unrequited love, death, sex and homosexuality to stereotypes, societal expectations, gender roles and self-hatred.

Death

That Azrael grim

lured me to bed.

I spread my body

and I was severed.

The bloody petals

of my rose, my core,

were cut wide open,

all his to bore.

His touch stopped my blood

He let me sleep

And I would have forever

By that Azrael grim

That Azrael grim

promised the empyrean.

Instead I can’t wake

from this Stygian sin.

Left Eye

My heart-strings are worn

By my left eye

No voice to carry them

No such glimpse tonight




My left eye carries love

Down my riverine bend

It swims in the deep

Such depth I’ll never know



There was one glimpse

But it has departed

My love retracted

As the sun sank down

New Breed

A new breed is among us

Born with cold in their eyes

Built with firm, cream flesh

A new breed to peel it off

A new way to be alive!

All the heartbeats subside

Sex is just the answer

But love is never asked

With pretentious veneers

Inside, yolk runs clear

I run from the new breed

I have to weed them out

Their bitter claws

Hacking into me

That generation

Dwelling into cold

I forgive them

Statuesque bodies

Grotesque beings

I forgive them

I take salvage on my pedestal

I‘ll spend my time bettering myself

Perdition

My life, a lump of clay,

I’m made to be constrained

I can only wait for night

To dream some colour

To dream autonomy

Unbound, unrestricted

One day, fate will advance

I carry death’s notice

It is pinned to my forehead

My birthright is a curse

To wrench me into darkness

To force me into perdition

Eternal damnation

My poisonous blood

It pumps the lust

Homogenous

In the human race

My defective heart

It screams for love

Homosexuals

For millennia

Period

The scarlet moon's tears

are pulled by the tide,

to drip down her cheek

and turn into the sky.

When the dark swallows up

the bright crimson pearl

the dawn breaks an egg,

turned gold is the world.

And I can’t look away

from the humble allures.

A great vibrant canvas,

broken landscape’s cure.

The scarlet moon's tears

don’t fall from her eyes.

They drip down her cheeks,

as we watch on the sly.

When the dark swallows up

the bright crimson gore,

the dawn breaks an egg,

turned out are her pores.

And I can’t look away,

from her body impure.

A dark, vibrant canvas;

a broken landscape’s lure.

The Ocean

She was a writer,

her ink was the ocean.

Words were like waves,

grammar was high-tide.

And her hand was the rip,

ebbing from the truth.

Her hand was the rip

ebbing from the truth.

She was a writer,

her wrist became cold.

White bitter as salt,

she drowned in the deep.

But her hand was the rip,

ebbing from the truth.

She got caught in the rip,

as it ebbed into truth.


A life sentence, that sea of hers.

Life sentence, that sea of hers.

Poetry from 2011 (Part 1)

03/10/13

Here is some poetry I wrote from January – June 2011. The themes here range from religion, regret, control to maturing and self-acceptance.

It’s Up To You

Every night at sunset

I fall onto my knees

Ask for love from the heavens

With eyes that cannot see

But if I look directly

Into the saintly light

It cleanses and it touches

Once blackened now is white

And God, looking down blankly

Remembering my sins

Reaches out to touch me

With no beauty left within

His hands caress my body

Instill a little faith

Says I’ll be forgiven

If I give to him my grave

He believes I will surrender

And hand over my life

But joy and love move further

From that day when I will die

Praying for the future

My powerlessness grows

He flashed scenes of repetition

A life I’ve always known

One cannot change the pathways

His intricate designs

They intend to teach lessons

So, where the Hell are mine?

Never To Wake

I don’t listen to the racket

All the noises try to penetrate

I fight it off

My hands are tied

I’m occupied

By blissful ignorance

I’m never to wake

I don’t pay attention to the words

Every conversation is unnecessary

I ignore them

Life is peaceful

When in slumber

I’m voluntarily deaf

Never to wake

Never

Older

She embraces her grey

where other eccentricities once thrived.

Possesses a middle-aged timbre,

yet her refrains are unaffected.

Flashes of youth and nonchalance

can be found amidst the grey,

inside the deepest of wrinkles,

within her slowing pace and

the clicking of her walking cane.

The love flies all about her,

as seasons collapse into one another.

What perfect order she’s found,

now that age has killed anxiety.

Pierre’s Reprise

His door is always open, red as a woman’s blush

With his number rusted over, if spoken it is hushed

All the men in the world could never tame his soul

In the winter he is looking, come summer, he is gone

Pleasures found in the act of loving for a price

Will taint his opportunities, to be of health in life

Men pass by like minutes, the calm brews him a storm

He turns to each direction, expecting love and warmth

Others see the fine line outside the area of grey

Between hearts that never stop and souls that fade away

The Arm

The arm curls at its joint

The wrist tucks under

And picks you up

It extends and stretches

You’re upside down

Forming an arch when relaxed

The arm rests itself

Fuel has been exhausted

And heat has been expelled

It purrs until nighttime

Stowed into the soil

Unraveling the ground,

every layer of stale caramel

and dirty, dusty chocolate,

turns it over in the morning,

curling, tucking, stretching.