Poetry from 2012 (Part 1)

04/10/13

Here are eight poems I wrote from January - June 2012. The themes here range from sexuality, desire and self-evaluation to homosexuality in society, individuality, hopelessness and desperation.

Blood

I pull the Devil

Out of the mouth

Into my lover

His vessels pound

The sin of love

Keeps judgment at bay

I seek out the flesh

Leave love astray

Blood

Blood

Enter my body 


With blood

You open your mouth

A sinking stone

Devour me

Tear meat from bone

The only way inside

A path of blood

Your skin and muscle


Wring out my love

Blood

Blood

Enter my body 


With blood

Cog-Work

Down in the cog-work of my mind,

where static nerves cannot unwind,

every part is in its place

of anti-movement, anti-pace.

When I start to move around,

immobilities unbound.

Common joints all follow suit,

although my mind is stuck en route.

I climb up; up to the thought tread,

I ascend myself to my deathbed.

If I could summon any pain,

I would ignite my every flame.

Though I’d only smoulder out,

I’d try to wet my lips again...

Allow my body to unclog,

as I unwind my every cog.

Allow my body to unclog,

as I unwind my every cog.

Full Moon

I get hungry ‘round the full moon

His faded face in my high noon

All the grey becomes vivid

On the surface of my skin

My virgin eyes turn livid

And each moment turns to sin

It would bring me joy

If I could get up there

Push him headfirst into the mattress

Move him forward into the darkness

Into the world of open mouth

Into the world of the full moon

My life quivers ‘round the full moon

Sleep is destined to strike him soon


Electricity in my skin

Let me sink my teeth in

I’ll dig my way to china

Bring my mouth to the center

I’ll flood him and the body

Silver moonlight when I enter

I get hungry ‘round the full moon

I get hungry ‘round the full moon

Gay Life

If I love you through my eyes,

to me, what’ll be given?

When I ask you to answer,

will my heart really listen?


I’m sick and tired of going

where the flesh is all showy.

The night brings the dead eyes;

the dead stars in the skylines.


I keep cyan in left pocket;

dark blue alongside it.

I’ve got to live upright

if I want to fit in right.

I got contemporary code.

Sometimes, I’m raring to go.

But, the years approach me,

and I write home alone.

If an arrow struck my skin,

would poison soak in deep?


Those queer scenes surrounding;

can I just fall asleep?

If I loved you through my eyes,

would you look at them flicker?

Thousands of lovers,

each one getting sicker.

Gift From God

It is a gift from God

To love a man

It is a gift from God

To live by hand



It is my gift to man

To love them raw

The heart I was given

Always gives more

The verses deny me

The fathers despise me

I live here to love

One heart is enough





The Biblical anchor

Drops to my core


It oppresses love

And closes the door


My gift from God

I now understand

The perverse love

Of man and man

The Habit

His hands haven’t touched,

though he knows the sin.

The price of his love


and all filth therein.

When the weather turns,

the black comes undone.

He begs for the ending;

for thunder to come.

The folds of the earth

open to his brim.

Conducting strings,

the symphony in him.

Lightning storm,

bring him warmth.

Bring him to life.

The soil still lingers,


on the tips of his fingers.

His bow plucks the threads,


every hair on his head

standing erect.

Lightning storm,

bringing warmth,

bringing life.

Lightning storm,

burning earth,

burn him alive.


Lightning storm,

burning earth,

burn him to life.

Transience Persists

I have an eye for gazing

when the distance is true.

When open, it will watch you.

It, forever, will see.

I have a hand for stroking

when desire has dropped anchor.

When open, it may soothe you.

It will release your strain.

I have a mouth for loving

when lust has conquered me.

When open, it can love you.

It will swallow you whole.

I have a mouth for speaking

when the mind requires proof.

When open, it can say all

It will say all you need.

I have a hand for holding

when passion has burned out.

When open, it may hold you.

It will synchronize us.

I have an eye for crying

when transience persists.

When open, it will course.

It cries until love.

Two Boys

To the two boys in the field;

rest your hands inches apart,

let love loosen your muscles

and fight away your nerves.

Now, grip each other closely.

reach out and feel the flesh.

Societal pressures...

Let them slip into the earth.

Turn your back to the breed.

Your love is rarer still.

To hold each other closely

is to live unguardedly.

And that is a rare beauty.

Phantasmagoria

03/10/13

Phantasmagoria is defined as 'a sequence of real or imaginary images like that seen in a dream'

One year ago I made a song called Phantasmagoria. It was heavily inspired by dreams, death, nostalgia and the progression of time. Personally, these elements in my life are never truly understood. 

Almost a year later, still inspired by my efforts and ideas, I made a remix of Phantasmagoria which explores these themes in a minimal, hazier and darker way.

https://soundcloud.com/sffewkes/phantasmagoria-demo

Demo Artwork

https://soundcloud.com/sffewkes/phantasmagoria-moose-mix

Moose Mix Artwork

The Byway Collection

03/10/13

This is a collection of poetry I wrote in 2011. I felt was in its own group due to the cohesion of its conception, themes, construction and progression. Twenty of the poems here were written in one day (August 10th), the last was written just six days later.


1. Intro

Am I the priest or the cowboy?

The mechanic or the schoolboy?

Am I the righteous optimist?

Or the earthy sensualist?

Am I the strong Casanova,

with virile mountains to climb over?

Am I pensive, or the rebel?

The earthquake or minor tremble?

Am I the servant or the Charming?

Ebony knight or wealthy king?

Am I the bookworm with glasses,

reading love as time passes?

Am I the fickle perfectionist?

The athlete or the genius?

Am I in the hopeless princess form,

waiting, dormant, bored, for norm?

Am I fit enough for porno,

golden hair and bronzed torso?

Does my faker’s smile shine brightly,

showing afflictions only slightly?

No.

I am the tired suburban type,

sleeping through the queerish hype.

I feign indifference to life and love,

meanwhile fear flows through my blood.


2. Sticky

My mind is sticky, nostalgically. 
Each memory constructs feelings. 
I feel the past loves, 
latter ones in fantasies present.

Inside thought’s core, deep rapture is what I find. 

Like knowing the flesh I’m without,
like my skin, it is but temporary.

3. Daddy

It is nighttime.
A silver light blinks above, inconsistently radiant.

There is a silhouette before me.

His vague outline appears, fades, reappears, then fades.

One twisted hand reaches out, and it is received.

There is an unfamiliar quietness, so it is released.

He comes closer; his pores open to receive.

He is a father to Cowardice.

And there is nothing there for me anymore.

The silhouette forever remains.

4. Bus Boy

You and your dusty eyes,

from every angle, I stay the same.

In every way, you never change;

chic veneer, closed mouth.

Our time cuts and jumps

before we can even speak.

Errors loom in our silence;

we face our quiet doom.

Love could have opened,

spread its petals to light.

Instead we felt the falling,

but didn’t muster the courage.

Why does sweet nothing 

feel…so…sweet?

It scratches at the heart,

our words unexpressed.

Perfect glitch in the system,

to show us how not to.

We’re left with scarred souls,

though everything has lifted up.

You are not forgotten,

and are taken until death,

where I will live by you.

5. Post

His necklace weighs across my heart,

the product of his fibre.

His pieces are have broken apart

into smooth, white solution.

He nestles into my shoulder,

nursed by my warmth,

naps in his depleted state,

I serve to restore him.

Limply looking into me,

with his chasteness and guilt,

“Take all that I let escape,

It was all…all for you”

6. In The Eye

There is a silence 

In front of my eyes

The world carries on

Without noise

There is nostalgia

of the future

It will come soon

A sparkle in the eye of him

It captures me

Sweet deadly glimpses

Digging in my flesh

His claws remain  

7. Tsunami

I live by time’s tide, 

one fluid boat ride.

Knee-deep in fathoms of men,

wading against the current.

Every bone is a branch,

each body a mountain.

I ascend steep contours

of his sensuous skin.

Up to his hip, I climb,

onto the solar plexus.

I tuck into the navel,

becoming vital nexus.

Inside the lonely grotto,

I’m pulled beneath by light.

I tread oceanic blood

of a homogeneous might.

His universal eruption;

it’s all in my hands.

The black hole rips open,

a tsunami floods the land.

8. Fluidity

I have a place

And there is a stone

But it has not been set

I’m fluid as a river

Fluid as an ocean

Ebbing and flowing

Repeatedly

There is a time

And there is a place

But they may never meet

There are the dreams

And there is the love

But, they may not come

9. Distorted Stories

Distorted stories 

Told by the wind

Cut to a scene

It’s only me

Consumed by a lullaby 

Teeth dripping blood

Engorging my skin

The pen pricks me

Releases pain into a jar

Particles of inspiration take to the sky

One at a time 

One perfect shine

The vent has opened

I can see through

Another realm waiting

I’m forced to watch

The temperature drops

There’s a grim release

Love breathes on me

Re-sparks my neglected mind

One soul to another

10. The Recalling

I’ve known you,

swam you like an ocean.

I freeze into your eyes

the frost of winters past.

You have been with me,

your fingers hook in the 

familiar desperation.

I feel, I feel.

And my toes click one by one

to the velocity of the snowfall.

The dew lubricates all

the junctions of you and I.

11. He Is There

I wade the river

Until I sink into the mud

Slip into the new dimension

Where I can love freely

Without this dreaded search

That has yielded nothing

For so long, I’ve not found him

But he is there

Within the light

In his chaste perfection

The beautiful illusion

We wander alongside shadows 
until we so become

Merging happily

And his hands find me

And they caress deeply

Down to the roots

And he kisses me

With eyes watching

In an indifference so kind

I hold him there forever

Our flesh settling down

Hearts resume their normal speed

The distortion of the heart takes over

Timed again until…

12. Enter The Symphony

The skies crack open

Unveiling some heaven

It shines upon me

It shines upon me

I open the door

Nervous still

Enter the symphony

Enter the symphony

There it is

Before my eyes:

Everything

13. River Water

The water running clear,

sluicing by my hands.

I let it drip to the ground,

saturating Earth’s lands.

From you to me,

the drops create a stream.

The rivulet we share

is all within my dream…

The torrent explodes!

A horrific tsunami suffocates me.

So, I drown.

But, what about you?

Well, you’re hurt by the sight,

but you carry on.

And I never get to love; 

you feel my loss.

Still, you get to love in the end…

Love had me drowned from birth.

I was drenched in it,

held prisoner in a cocoon,

denied the access of another; of you.

And it wasn’t even my fault.

So, I sink in the river.

I sink to the bottom.

I sink in the ocean,

To the bottom of my life.

14. Accepted

The chorus of heaven

has been paid for.

I cannot believe

they’ve sung to me.

My toes tap the floor

Drawing a fish’s path

Too content a silence

I sigh it away

Dismissive

Nothing is felt

Nothing again

Accepted

But it’s full…apparently

I just don’t get…supposedly

I’ve disconnected…evidently

I’m locked out…seemingly

You’ll be my lone angel

15. That Love Song

I take salvage

In the unphysical

The sounds, the noise

It holds me near

The chime of her song

It gives birth to me

It is the edge of a cliff

The top of a mountain

An endless field

Her vast landscapes

pull me under the world

The winds fight me

The waters swallow me

In love I drown

And then it hits

I shatter into nothingness

I’m all for nothing

A simple light now

Glowing in the memory

She’ll never know of me

She’ll never know

And she carries on

With my death on repeat

And love

16. Caught A Pig Instilling Tall Ants (Like I Should Manage...)

There isn’t anything 

left in the world.

There’s nothing left.

It’s all for war.

A dead fish washes up

Onto a barren shore

All the years passing

Without just, without red.

Although you have gone

I wander the lands.

I search for nothing

There is nothing left.

Political systems

Beautiful pandemics

Nourishing parasites

CAPITALISM

We’re caught in the trap

17. Sin

Drinking from the virile river

All I could conquer...

I hear the stampedes

They’re no match for me

My blood, thunderous 

Conducts the monsoon

Golden flames glow

Grow like the sun

The path is cleared

My handsome ruination

Calls me to the river

I deflect the guilt sometimes

My blood guiltiness is upon me

My blood be guiltiness upon me
Your blood guiltiness upon me

Your blood guiltiness upon me 

18. Nothing

This anchorage

It’s nothing

There’s no use for it

It is just sluggishness I cannot shake

19. Feast

He is the hunter

The sole gatherer

As the stars come out

Fodder is retrieved

He’s the darkest knight

The thought stirs his blood

He splits the rations

And he serves them raw

I will wear his strings

I will wear the stains

I will drink his drops

I will drink the rain

He hands himself over

Till all is restored

His carbons dissolve

Deeper than my pores

I will wear his pearls

I will swim his streams

I will sleep in webs

I will wear his dreams

20. Flesh And Blood

He would have had her

If it weren’t for me

It was my face

And it was my heart

He turned to

My flesh is hung

And my blood is strung

Chains of red and white

Over his shoulders

He would have had her

If not for my charm

Once a patriot

He loved

Letting me into him

My flesh is hung

And my blood is strung

Chains of red and white

My flesh and blood

He loved letting me in

21. Dance

They dance

My heart and the clock

The tick is leading

My beat’s receiving

The sun shines still

I rise and I set

My life is an orbit

Cut short by the grim

The coming of age

Rusting my spine

I drag myself on

As the end draws in

And the light appears

I’ve always known it

Flashing and burning

Dissipating in time

It just wasn’t mine

My ticking heart knows no better

Then the light explodes

And I don’t know it

Flashing and burning

Dissipating my time

And it is all mine